How Divorce Mediation Works in the Bay Area And When You Still Need Court

For many Oakland and Bay Area families, mediation offers a practical way to resolve a divorce while keeping decisions in your hands. Instead of asking a judge to make rulings after adversarial hearings, you and your spouse work with a neutral mediator to reach a complete Marital Settlement Agreement that the court can accept. Mediation emphasizes privacy, problem solving, and a timeline that usually moves faster than a fully litigated case. Our team represents clients as mediators and as consulting counsel during mediation. You can learn more on our Family Law Services page.

How Mediation Works in California

Mediation is voluntary unless your local court requires parents to attempt custody mediation before a hearing. In Alameda and Contra Costa Counties, Family Court Services schedules custody mediation when a hearing on parenting time is requested. If parents do not reach agreement, a child custody recommending counselor may provide a written recommendation to the judge. That local structure affects how you prepare for sessions and what happens if you reach a partial impasse. 

In a typical Bay Area divorce, the mediation sequence begins with a goal setting meeting, continues with the exchange of financial disclosures, and then proceeds through working sessions to resolve property, child support, spousal support, and parenting issues. The mediator does not decide your case. The mediator helps you identify options and stay focused on solutions that both sides can accept. When you reach an agreement, the terms are written into a settlement and submitted to the court so they can become orders in your case.

Disclosures, Timelines, and the Six Month Waiting Period

California requires each spouse to serve a preliminary declaration of disclosure. That packet is executed under penalty of perjury, includes tax returns from the prior two years, and identifies all assets and debts whether you view them as community or separate. The petitioner must serve the preliminary declaration with the petition or within sixty days of filing. The respondent must serve the preliminary declaration with the response or within sixty days of filing. Courts expect proof of service. The Judicial Council forms most people use include the Declaration of Disclosure, the Schedule of Assets and Debts, and the Property Declaration. These rules exist so neither spouse negotiates in the dark and so your agreement will not be vulnerable to a later challenge for nondisclosure. 

Even if you and your spouse agree on every term, a California divorce cannot terminate the legal status of your marriage for at least six months from the date the respondent is served with the Summons and Petition or appears in the case. That period is sometimes called a waiting period. You can complete mediation and file your judgment before the six months expire, but your legal status does not change to single until the waiting period ends and a judge enters judgment. According to California Family Code § 2339(a), "no judgment of dissolution is final for the purpose of terminating the marriage relationship of the parties until six months have expired from the date of service" of the divorce petition on the respondent spouse.

When Court Is Necessary

Mediation is not the right process when there is an emergency or a refusal to follow basic rules. If you face immediate safety risks, a credible threat of child abduction, a spouse draining accounts or cancelling health insurance, or a refusal to provide required financial information, you should seek court orders without delay. California courts can issue temporary emergency orders on short notice in appropriate cases. The Judicial Council publishes the Temporary Emergency Orders form. Our article on Ex Parte Orders gives additional context about how and when judges act quickly.

Support Inside a Mediated Agreement

Parents and spouses often ask how child support and spousal support are handled in mediation. California uses a statewide guideline for child support. Courts expect parents to run guideline numbers and to demonstrate that any agreed amount is consistent with the law or is supported by a clear explanation. The California Child Support Services website offers an estimator that mirrors the guideline approach used by courts. For spousal support, you can agree to temporary and post judgment support terms that reflect Family Code factors and your real budgets. Many Bay Area families use mediation to balance cash flow during the transition and then to set predictable post judgment terms. If you are mediating in light of recent adjustments to add on allocations or income characterization for child support, see our post on Recent Changes to the Calculation of Child Support for a helpful overview. 

Preparing for Mediation in the Bay Area

Preparation shortens the number of sessions and reduces stress. Start by collecting pay stubs, tax returns, bank and brokerage statements, retirement plan summaries, mortgage statements, and deeds. If you or your spouse receive equity compensation or bonuses tied to performance, gather grant notices and vesting schedules as well. Bring a practical parenting proposal that takes into account school schedules, commute realities between Alameda and Contra Costa Counties, and any recurring activities. If a domestic violence restraining order is in place or if there are safety concerns, tell the mediator in advance so the process can be structured appropriately. California’s guidance for mediation in cases involving domestic violence explains how separate rooms or separate appointment times can be used and reminds parents that California Family Code § 3044 affects custody decisions when there is a recent finding of abuse. 

An attorney can strengthen a mediated case. Many clients meet with us between sessions to review proposals, to evaluate disclosure issues, and to reality test settlement language before it is signed. That support helps you stay confident that the agreement you reach will work in practice and will be enforceable in court.

You Are Not Alone. We Can Help You.

Choosing mediation is often a sign that you want a more thoughtful, lower-conflict way to resolve family issues. Even so, it can still feel overwhelming, especially when emotions run high or unexpected emergencies arise. Remember, mediation is designed to help families find stability and clarity, but you don’t have to navigate any part of it by yourself.

At the Law Offices of Janice Cho, APC, we understand how stressful relationship transitions can be. If your mediation sessions are moving forward smoothly, we’ll handle the drafting and filing so your case evolves efficiently toward final judgment. And if an urgent situation requires immediate court intervention, we can pivot quickly to request temporary orders that protect your rights and your family.

When you need steady guidance and experienced representation you can trust, we can help.

Call (510) 925-2651 to speak with a knowledgeable Bay Area family lawyer about your situation.